What’s New is Old Again

I took this blog offline for a while and I’ve deleted a lot of the posts that don’t make sense being here, but I still feel the need to write. I look back over my writing and my life and see and feel where I was at the time.

In this life I’ve experienced a lot of pain, heartache, and disappointment. But I’ve also loved, and been loved in return. That’s probably the one thing in life that I value most. Being loved, and loving others, is really the only thing that I find has any lasting value. Even if friendships fade, the memories are something I treasure. Someone recently said to me:

I loved reading your story. You have had a lot more passionate romance in your life than I have.”

I never really considered it before, but it’s true. I’ve had some really painful times of late but as much as I’ve been hurting, I don’t regret the love and the passion. I can honestly say if I died tomorrow, I’d be happy with the life I’ve lived. I’ve been in very low places, but the question always¬†comes back to

¬†“do I want to walk into oblivion, to rid myself of this pain?”

The answer has been a consistent no. So I march forward. I know where I’ve been, but I’m not sure where the future will take me. But I’m grateful for today, for now, for this.

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Friendships, Loves, and China Sets

I’ve always viewed friendships as somewhat like fine china. Some patterns come and go with the seasons. Some are solid, never go out of style, and serve you many years. Good china will provide you a beautiful space to nourish yourself. But you must always keep in mind that no matter how durable it is, it’s still china and it will break if not handled with care.

I’ve never really had the ability to stop loving people after I’ve started loving them. A scene from “Hedwig and the Angry Inch” explains how love works in my life.

(HEDWIG:) “Seriously, Tom, yes. I believe love is immortal.”

(guitar chords)

(TOMMY sings:) “Look what you done … (bad chord) goddammit! How is it immortal?”

(HEDWIG:) “Well, perhaps because love creates something that was not there before.”

(TOMMY:) “What, like procreation?”

(HEDWIG:) “Yes, but not only.”

(TOMMY:) “What, like recreation?”

(HEDWIG:) “Sometimes just creation.” Continue reading “Friendships, Loves, and China Sets”